Clearly Nebulous

"Away We Go" to a Surprisingly Poignant Movie

I took a chance on this one. I needed to see a romantic movie with the husband. The romance tank was running on empty.

So there was this movie with mixed reviews that was written by Dave Eggers and his wife. I am on the side of those who loved A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. Plus I have heard that they are very much in love, and have a happy family.

But it was directed by Sam Mendes. Yep, Mr. American Beauty and Revolutionary Road. I would have figured this film was all about putting down the middle class -- angst and alienation. Well, we decided to go for it and discovered that, while there is a sense of both in this film, overall the movie is sweet in its earnest look at love and parenthood.

Now the very first scene is not for the shrinking violets out there. It is a very...um... intimate scene in which a long-time couple, Burt and Verona, discover they're pregnant in an unusual way. (A scene I think the Foley artists worked overtime on.) But if you can get past it, and don't mind a bit of bad language here and there, you will follow this couple on a journey of discovery as they try to decide where to raise their child.

I hear that The New York Times "sniffed" that "this movie doesn't like you." And the Washington Post reviewer had this to say (my emphasis):

"Burt and Verona practice the same brand of exceptionalism that sends countries into wars, marriages into crisis and children into lifelong therapy... (it) has a happy ending every bit as synthetic as the middlebrow entertainments its protagonists no doubt despise... the final shot of the movie features Burt and Verona alone, with their backs to the audience and, by extension, the world. Ready, finally, to become someone else's idea of hell."

Why do I suspect that the WashPo reviewer and other nay-sayers like her -- in addition to being ardent liberals (sends countries into wars?!)-- saw themselves in one of the characters that was frowned upon in this movie? Either that or they have doubts in general about their parenting and don't like the idea of being "judged" -- or they've chosen not to have children and have contempt for all parents -- but those are wild guesses. Because the movie I saw was none of the things she mentioned.

Instead, I saw a movie that examined the extremes of under-thinking parenthood (as seen in a loud-mouthed mom who says disparaging remarks in front of her daughter) and over-thinking it (the couple with the family bed that eschews strollers), and how we all must find a balance we can live with, so we as couples and we as families can find our way.

SPOILER ALERT

In addition to the caricatures of poor parenting, Burt and Verona also visit a very happy couple, who apparently have adopted four children of various ethnic backgrounds. Burt and Verona decide they want to be like them, and consider living nearby. They then discover that there is a sadness in this couple's lives.

They have just endured their fifth miscarriage. The husband speaks of how maybe they shouldn't have waited so long to try and have a baby, and how tragic it is that so many young girls get pregnant... They love their adopted children, but they have this unbearable feeling of loss.

Now, Roger Ebert described this couple as not really being happy, and the WashPo reviewer scoffed that this was portraying adoption as "second-best." I would argue that this couple was indeed happy, but there was this separate desire that had not been fulfilled. People can have both dreams. Mourning the loss of one does not take away from the other. (Maybe the reviewer had closed herself off and did not hear the heart-breaking line about watching their babies fade away. How could you not have sympathy for that?)

SPOILER OVER

But what I really liked about this movie was that it reminded me that we all need to be mindful of who we are as parents. At one point, Burt points out that he thinks that being a parent should bring out the best in us. That it should make us better than we normally are. It sorta reset my parenting compass.

And it also filled the romance tank. Verona says, "No one is in love like us, right?" I squeezed my honey's hand. Because that really describes us. I hope it describes you, too. For that is a great part of being a parent. Remembering that we love each other, like no one else, and that we're in this together.

Letterman Could Learn a Lesson from Ramsay

First of all, you'll have to excuse me -- I'm still in shock as I just read a statement from NOW regarding the lacivious Palin family "jokes" that David Letterman made recently.

http://www.now.org/issues/media/hall-of-shame/

Whereas they didn't mention the "slutty flight attendant" line, and they took a shot at conservatives -- not every one of us is as rude as Rush can be sometimes -- they are right about one thing: Neither side should be making any kind of pot shots about any woman's looks or her attire.

I'm in the camp that thinks that Letterman's "apology" fell short. He played the victim -- poor misunderstood old guy just trying to make a joke -- and how could we think he meant the 14-year-old? Oh you're rigth, Dave, it was our fault. It was our fault that we knew that only Willow had accompanied Gov. Palin. It was our fault for treating the Palin family respectfully as individuals and not lumping them into the white trash bunch that you seem so intent to classify them as.

You need to try again, Dave. Try taking a peek at the apology that Gordon Ramsay gave for some very rude comments her made about an Australian tv host.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5e7_n1InBU

I don't know much about Ramsay, other than the hothead I have seen on commercials for Top Chef.  I can't say for sure whether he was truly sincere, or was actually only concerned about his bank account. Ramsay said that he realized he needed to apologize for his boorish behavior after a call from his mom -- which she has disputed. But he seems genuinely penitent -- a route that Letterman should consider.

So whatever it takes. An induction into NOW's "Hall of Shame," a call from his mom, a smack upside the head from his wife... Dave needs to try again.

Maybe in a venue far from a sniggering audience would be a good idea. Get Oprah on the phone... NOW.

Gov. Palin met Ladder Co. 10 after stopping at the Ground Zero visitor's center. 

 

Ling and Lee: Let's Remember Why They are There

Some of those in conservative circles predicted chirping crickets from the liberals regarding the incarceration of Laura Ling and Euna Lee by the North Korean government. They made snide remarks that the libs cared more about foreign terrorists being pampered by the U.S. than two Americans being sentenced to 12 years of hard labor for unspecified crimes.

Thankfully, this is not true, and it seems that there is bipartisan support for the immediate release of these two women. But the question will be, how will the current administration handle the situation? As Gotham Chopra wrote on the Huffington Post:

"Considering the unprecedented stakes and circumstances surrounding their case, Laura and Euna's predicament is fast evolving into a tricky political situation for President Barack Obama who has made clear his steadfast belief that smart diplomacy can be a panacea for almost all problems facing nations around the planet. It would appear now more than at any prior time in his presidency, Mr. Obama's covenant will be tested."

Of course, Chopra went on to say that America has no standing because of how we have treated prisoners at Guantanamo -- as if there is any kind of comparison. This is no time for posturing. We must show that we, as a nation, will not stand for this outrageous treatment of these women.

There has been talk that Obama is thinking of sending Al Gore to negotiate their release. Seems fitting, since it was a report for his network that the two women were working on. But when I think of how poor a communicator he is to anyone who doesn't also view the world through "green-colored glasses," I sincerely fear for these two women if their fate is in his hands. No joke.

I'm thinking whoever pleads their case is going to have to get tough. And will probably have to turn to China for help. We can only hope that China -- in the interest of staying off the top of the human rights violators list -- can help us out.

I fear that in the end it will probably involve at least some kind of butt-kissing of NK, and when they are freed, oh isn't that Kim just the nicest, most reasonable guy? I think the Ling and Lee families have shown great restraint in their pleas. They have apologized on behalf of their loved ones, and said that it must have been an accidental infraction, showing great humility and undue respect.

If I were in their shoes, I'd want to scream from the hilltops what an unbelievably incomprehensible injustice this whole scenario is and that I was coming after Kim personally!

But while the world awaits to see what the furute holds for these women, and while the pundits trade jabs as to what will or will not work -- let us not forget the tragedy that the two journalists were trying to expose. The fact that they were reporting a story about human trafficking seems to be an afterthought in most news stories.

And when we hear "human trafficking" it's all too easy to appease our minds with images of people in trucks being secreted away, stuck in a strange land unable to get back home. That would be terrible enough. But what we are talking about here is young women -- children -- being forced into prostitution. Forced to live a hellish life, away from their loved ones with no idea how long they will be considered "useful", and what will become of them once they're not.

These are daughters. Girls who should be in school learning, singing songs, and playing games. Not being sold and abused like a slab of meat.

While awaiting word on the outcome of the nightmare that Ling and Lee face, let us remember the young women who don't have vice-presidents willing to step in on their behalf to rescue them.

I learned about an organization that works toward the abolition of child sex slavery and exploitation thanks to Stephen Baldwin. (It's his designated charity for his appearance on "I'm a Celebrity...")

It's Love 146 at www.love146.com

Watch this video, and if you are moved -- make a donation. If you are as moved as I was, make it a monthly pledge.

Angie Baby, You're a Special Lady

Yes, one needs to be skeptical when it comes to celebrities making endorsements and corporations making donations to charities. But this one passes the sniff test for me. (Mmmmm... the smell of freshly washed and dried laundry!)

Angie Harmon of Law and Order fame is a rare breed in Hollywood. Not only is she conservative, but she is gracious, lovely, and she has her priorities straight. She gave birth to her third daughter about 5 months ago, and she has found a great balance between her home life and her career.

Now she is teaming up with Purex to help women in under-developed countries, while also making a small difference in the impact on the environment.

The company has come up with a new product called Purex 3-in-1. Rather than a separate bottle for laundry detergent and fabric softener and then a dryer sheet, the product comes in a thin plastic wrapper which contains treated sheets that clean, soften and stop static. (The sheets can be stored in an initial refillable container that they sell -- or it seems to me, you can use any old suitable plastic storage you have lying about.)

And as an introductory promotion when you purchase this new product, you can direct the donation of $1 through the company's partnership with Kiva which arranges micro-loans to women who are starting small businesses in order to help their families overcome the devastating poverty around them.

I'm heading out to buy my package today -- and when I go on-line to say where I want that $1 to go, I just might add a few more dollars of my own.

Here is the link for more info: www.PurexChangesLives.com

And here is a link to a group within Kiva that I found: http://www.kiva.org/team/christians_against_abortion

Land of the Lost Innocence

I'm not embarrassed to say it. I loooooooooooooved the tv show Land of the Lost. (Ok, maybe I'm a little embarrassed.)

I was 9 years old when it hit the small screen in 1974. I was a little younger than the golden-haired heroine, Holly. I wanted to experience the adventures and exhibit the bravada of the spunky Miss Marshall, in the face of a menacing T-Rex and the spooky Sleestaks.

So when I heard that this cheesy series was next in line for the Hollywood movie treatment, I was thrilled and looked forward to taking my daughters to see it. Then I heard that Will Farrell was the star, and I thought -- hmm, could go one of two ways here.

Will we have the goofy borderline fun of Elf and Kicking and Screaming, or will we get the really-not-for-kids edginess of Anchorman and Blades of Glory? When I saw a trailer last month, the MPAA rating had not been assigned yet. But what I saw led me to think what I feared.

For some reason, in a trailer that is "approved for all audiences" I saw Holly -- who apparently is considerably older in this incarnation (played by a 33-yr-old actress) -- introducing herself to the hairy caveman Cha-ka by placing her hands just below her collarbone and saying her name.

Of course, just below the collarbone is just above the bust -- so Cha-ka is then seen repeating her name and grabbing at her breasts. Hoo-boy, I thought, definitely shooting for the PG rating -- not.

I remained hopeful that perhaps after reviewing the box office receipts of Farrell's films -- as well as  other adventurous PG movies -- that more family-friendly heads would prevail.

Come on -- Elf brought in $173M domestically, while the National Treasure films earned $173M and $219M. The original Night at the Museum grossed $250M, and the sequel has already earned $108M in less than 2 weeks. Pixar's Up has made $80M in just under a week. Heck, even a very similar, yet weaker movie like Journey to the Center of the Earth wound up with $101M.

But then they probably remembered that Kicking and Screaming only mustered $52M, while Blades of Glory raked in $178M. Hmmmm... this Land of the Lost is costing over $100M... hmmmm... what to do, what to do...

PG-13 it is!

So much for the nostalgia we all felt for a show aimed at pre-teens. The almighty box office gods have spoken -- and so has this mom.

My kids will not be seeing this movie. I hope you will join us -- we're going next door to see Up.

Violence is Not the Answer

There is only one appropriate reaction to the murder of Dr. Tiller: condemnation.

No statements about whether or not he had time to make himself right with God, no questions about whether or not he had put himself in harm's way. No one deserves to be killed in cold blood. This is not a battlefield. No matter how frustrated one may be about the fight for the preborn, no matter how many lives are lost to the tragedy of abortion -- it does not serve our cause, nor help anyone in the long run to turn to maniacal acts.

In fact, it is the very idea that another single person is the cause of troubles that perpetuates the deaths of over 3,000 little souls every day. Over one million times every year, a woman believes that killing the child within her is the solution to her troubles.

If those deaths are wrong, so is this one. Our cause, and the world in general, would be better served if we all championed the value of every person -- or at least the potential of every person.

Who knows? Dr. Tiller could have been the next Dr. Nathanson.

Dr. Bernard Nathanson was the doctor who first persuaded the leaders of women's groups to fight for abortion. He later had an epiphany, denounced his actions, and is now one of the most relevant voices in the pro-life movement.

Maybe not. Maybe Dr. Tiller would have gone to his grave with the delusion that he was helping women. Despite all the evidence to the contrary -- for instance, that pro-life doctors have testified that they have never come across a single case where a pregnant woman's life or health was threatened that could not be treated in a manner that allowed both mother and child to have a chance.

Despite the fact that all the ills that abortion is supposed to cure are instead growing exponentially. Despite the evidence that abortions -- especially late-term ones -- haunt women and cause them mental duress. Despite the fact that an unknown number of those late-term abortions are performed for reasons that are only discovered to be incorrect when it is far too late -- instead of a "monster" emerging from the womb, a perfect little child is delivered who had the misfortune of a "false-positive diagnosis."

But you never know. Hearts and minds can be changed. If we stress the value of motherhood, support women in their times of crisis, extol the value of every person no matter what their challenges may be, show that there is always a better answer than abortion, and point out that some choices are wrong no matter how long you think about them or how many professional opinions you seek or how certain you think you are in a time of incredible pressure that this is what is "best"...

Stand up, be strong, speak your mind, do good works to help support women and children -- but do not resort to violence.

La XX-Chromosomed Femenino Female Latina Woman

Yes, I'm feeling rather hope-less today...

Your English and Spanish lesson for the day: "Latina Woman" is redundant. So is "very liberal Obama nominee" -- but I digress.

When Sarah Palin burst on the scene, I often used shorthand and said how great it was to see a woman on the ticket. But what I really meant -- and said at other times -- was how great it was to see a candidate that has stood up to the status quo and worked to make some real progress and is a servant of the people who doesn't bow to party politics (etc, etc)... who also happens to be a woman.

People on the left argued that Palin wasn't the best choice, and that she was only chosen because she was a woman.

When Miguel Estrada was up for appointment to the U.S. Court of Appeals -- did the Democrats laud his "great personal story" of coming to this country at 17 from Honduras with nothing to his name, barely speaking English? No, they were too busy filibustering a Court of Appeals nominee for the very first time. They had to, because they knew if he were approved, Estrada was one step away from the Supreme Court. He had the "correct" pedigree, but alas, the wrong judicial view for the Democrats. They had failed to "bork" Clarence Thomas, and they weren't going to let it happen again with Estrada.

So how does the left respond to the nomination of Sotomayor for the SCOTUS? Suddenly, one's chromosomal make-up and heritage is essential to one of the most important jobs in our nation.

BO is no dummy -- he knew that there'd be a buzz about a nominee who was a Latina. And because of a single decision upholding a ban on the use of government funds for abortions, he believes he can pass her off as a "moderate." How could anyone stand in the way of letting this fabulous story -- fit for Hollywood -- play to the happy ending?

Well, it won't be by challenging her decisions, her intellect, or her disposition -- which apparently are not up to par. It could only possibly happen by asking her this simple question: Can you uphold the oath of the position?

She must be challenged as to whether or not she will be able to stand up and say,"I, Sonia Sotomayor, do solemnly swear that I will administer justice without respect to persons, and do equal right to the poor and to the rich, and that I will faithfully and impartially discharge and perform all the duties incumbent upon me as Supreme Court Justice under the Constitution and laws of the United States. So help me God."

Judge S. has already made it very clear that she will not be able to uphold that oath. She intends to judge with empathy. Justice isn't blind to her. It peeks out from under that blindfold to see your color, gender, social status -- or whichever personal obstacle you've had to overcome -- as you stand before the court.

(And despite that one decision on funding, I'm guessing her empathy only extends to those who can actually stand before her -- not the innocent masses crying out for justice from the hidden refuge of their mothers' wombs.)

We all know how SS should answer that question, but I suspect that the lawyer will rise from within and espouse fanciful legalese to obscure the truth -- and there will be no stopping her appointment. And every future nominee from Obama can be a half-step less to the left and will be declared "even more moderate" than she -- and they will be approved as well.

They will sit on that court decade after decade as tens of millions more preborn lives are slaughtered in the name of "empathy."

I think of all those pro-life voters who cast their ballot for Obama with the unsubstantiated, blindly bestowed belief that he would bring some new kind of approach to government, and incomprehensibly the issue of abortion, and wonder if they realize the most grave error they made.

So while pro-abortion women, Spanish voters, and diabetics can celebrate this nomination, I mourn it as the continuation of a very dark time in our nation. While the former aspect will be another footnote in what is supposed to be a post-racial, post-gender world, don't be fooled into believing it is anything but the latter.

*supremely monumental sigh*

 

Why the Hate for Jon & Kate?

Well, I hope Joel McHale is happy.

Ok, so he's not the only one to blame, but is was the likes of McHale's portrayal on The Soup of Jon Gosselin as a hapless henpecked husband that must have drove the poor man to try and escape the world of a father-of-8-under-a-microscope.

Last night's premiere of the 5th season of Jon & Kate Plus 8 was bittersweet considering the recent developments. I believe Jon's side of the story, and I still understand that even the most innocent version of his galavanting is enough for Kate to feel very hurt and angry.

That's all you can really say. Exactly what drove Jon to such poor behavior, exactly what the couple's relationship is -- it's all pure speculation. Only the two of them truly know. What's up to us is to let these two figure it out -- especially for the sake of the children. But unfortunately, the media does not seem content to let them.

Gossip rags run covers like this, with sensational stories from folks who are paid big bucks for their indelicate info (I don't care if one of them is purportedly her brother -- what kind of brother would reveal such intimate details?):

And just look at the review of the show's premiere from the Washington Post. The producers of J&K did not send out a sneak peak, so the writer decided this was an appropriate time to launch a personal attack on the Gosselins, and a general attack on large families.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/24/AR2009052402680.html?sub=AR

The show is deemed "appalling." Kate is then unkindly described as a "succubus" (that's a devil-woman for those of you without a dictionary handy) with a "bizarrely unattractive" hairstyle who may "claw you to death." Her love and pride of her children is inexplicably condemned as a "horrifying validation of her brood's importance."

Jon is described as "a shell of a man" and the couple's sex life is questioned. The admittedly materialistic turn seen on the show is somehow approximated to mild "abuse." I found this all an unnecessary, highly personal judgment coming from a tv critic. He should know (better than most) that such shows -- and the media coverage of them -- are focused on the sensational. By no means are they fair or accurate representations of the real lives involved.  

But the hate is not reserved for the stars of this show. The Duggars of 18 Kids and Counting are "pious," "epically backward," and "eerily sweet." Programs of this kind are "freak shows" and the moms' wombs are "clown cars." Couples who struggle with infertility are compared to wild animals. Large families are referred to as "litters" and those who watch the shows are psychoanalyzed as searching for the "soothing effects of belonging to the pack."

Even blogging moms are ridiculed that they "cannot shut up about every banal detail of their household." Harumph. No offense!

The critic then makes the PC leap to the consumption of resources, suggesting large families are not "green." He forgets that these households are run more efficiently than average, and therefore consume fewer units of resources per person overall. 

But this critic is not alone in his diatribe. It baffles me why so many choose the shrill attack mode, usually found only in unedited chat rooms. Why not a charitable tone for this particular family that is struggling with the trials of success and fame? And why drag other families, famous or not, into the fray?

I can only surmise that there is a sector that feels defensive about limiting their number of children. They feel that they must denigrate large families and assail the obvious drawbacks. There must be something wrong with those people and their colossal clans! Who knows why they vilify those who made a different decision.

So Kate is an easy target. She runs her household like a drill sergeant. So? She got way more than she bargained for when she signed up for this -- never did she anticipate being hounded by photographers. She is not only dealing with the obvious pressures -- what most people don't understand is the responsibility of being an ambassador for large families.

I do.

I know what Kate is thinking: We want the world to see that -- while we don't have unrealistic goals of perfection --  we want to show our best side. Otherwise, we give fodder to those who would cut us down. We want everyone to see that, whereas our lives have more than their share of challenges, it is a great life, nonetheless.

Again, the show is but a glimpse of the most sensational moments of Kate's life, for less than 30 minutes a week. We're not there for the mundane, quiet hours upon hours. I say, the next time all those folks are the mother of 6 babies at once, then they can voice their opinions. Until you've walked a mile... 

So enough sniping whether or not Kate is too demanding, enough speculation about Jon's actions -- let's all just root for a family in crisis to come out of this happy and healthy. 

Oh, and don't buy those magazines! 

Revenge of the Tweenage Girls: Kris Wins Idol

Newsweek speculated that there was a Christian voting bloc that would affect the outcome of the American Idol finale -- and others pondered that there  might be an anti-gay backlash against Adam. (Although no one but he knows for sure what his true inclinations are...)

I'm not going to suggest that there wasn't a whole bunch of conservative folks voting for Kris -- I'm certain there were, considering that Idol is one of the few shows that (for the most part) is family friendly and appeals to all ages. But honestly that would be a "Pro-Kris" vote, not an "Anti-Adam" vote.

Adam obviously was the more talented singer, with much greater range, and was more of a flamboyant showman. We know there is a contingent out there that likes that sort of performance -- David Cook was the more edgy performer and he prevailed. (Although that, arguably, may have been Revenge of the Rockers, inspired by the early exit of Chris Daughtry the previous season.)

But Kris was more universally appealing, and he also performed on both guitar and piano. When he was done with a song, everyone in the room could at least say -- well, that was nice, and often even more. With Adam, as much as I admired his vocal talents, I often fast-forwarded through the last minute of his performances. It was all too much, and I'm sure there were many others who felt that same way. And many were probably baffled by some of his performances. ("Ring of Fire" anyone?!)

But I truly believe that the tipping point for this contest had to be the female tweenage fans of the show. They were heart-broken last season when David Archuleta lost to the more talented edgy guy, and they were NOT going to let it happen this time! What else did they have to do last night? I would venture that many dialed, got through, hit flash, hit redial, got through, flash, redial, got through, flash, redial... For four... straight... hours.

In one way that bothered me this season -- that more talented singers were losing out to a teen heart-throb. But if that's what it took for the underdog -- the wholesome, came-out-of-nowhere boy next door -- to defeat the affectatious darling of the entertainment crowd and the media... Well, so be it. And maybe today's youth isn't as dumb as I thought.

Adam will still be huge. He didn't need to win. Plus, he can console himself: He never has to sing that "No Boundaries" song ever again!

Congratulations, Kris! May your career shine as brightly as your smile, and your life be filled with even more of the joy that is apparent with your wife and family.

 

btw -- why wasn't this commercial shown during the finale? I know it's not perfect, since many of the celebrities shown were adopted at an older age and therefore were not necessarily spared from abortion. But adoption is an important issue, not just in regards to the pro-life movement, but in recognizing the value and potential of every individual. No matter what obstacles they may face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If You Don't Have Your Health...

Another line from "The Princess Bride." It was actually said by a vile character, tongue-in-cheek, but it's so true. If you don't have your health, you don't have anything.

I like to think that I don't take my or my family's health for granted. We are very blessed that there are no major problems. Nothing can make you appreciate that more than a small crisis that knocks you out of commission.

Well, at least out of the blogging loop. I'm in the midst of a minor health issue that has lead me to distraction -- so much so that my daily diet, workout regimen, and schedule in general has suffered, but not bad enough to really cause too much duress.

It makes me think of all the families out there who face truly debilitating health problems that must be taxing on not only their bodies, but their hearts, minds, and souls.

If you are fortunate enough to be hale and hearty these days, thank your lucky stars and take great care to stay that way. Take nothing for granted.

So much going on in the world that I want to comment on, but it will have to wait. Stay tuned...