Okay, so this time I'm the one in italics...
You assume I found your blog on a liberal blog's "barf alert." I'm not sure what a "barf alert" is, and I didn't find your blog on a liberal site. I found it in the usual place -- a pro-life blog list. So there's one of your assumptions proven wrong.
I made no assumption -- it was just a guess. ("Barf alert" is relatively new to me -- some folks put that on posts that contain stuff they disagree with.)
In an attempt to, as you like to encourage, "seek truth," I began searching about pertinent political issues, because 1) I wasn't sure who would get my vote, McCain or Obama, and 2) because although I don't think abortion is a pertinent issue, as you know it came briefly to the fore once Palin was selected to run with McCain.
I sincerely applaud this. I'm afraid too many people are not seeking any truth at all. (Did you check out Feminists for Life and the Susan B. Anthony List sites? If you usually lean Democratic, I'd also check out www.hillaryclintonforum.net. if you want to hear what a bunch of former Hillary supporters are saying.)
Since you're interested, here's my "truth": I know a brilliant and scrappy single mother who raised equally brilliant and scrappy children. She instilled in those children upstanding Christian values. One of this woman's daughters had an abortion while she was in college. Although this broke the mother's heart, at the end of the day she was grateful that her daughter had found a safe medical facility to have this procedure. Whether or not the mother would have chosen this herself or her daughter was now a moot point, because what was done was done. I know both the mother and the daughter; they are two of my closest friends, and I could never judge either the mother by thinking that she didn't do enough to encourage her daughter to make another choice, nor could I judge the daughter, because she had her reasons, whether I agree with them or not.
This is a heart-breaking story. It's not about judging anyone when they made a tough choice. It's about a good person like her living in a society where she felt that was her only way out. Or even if she thought it was the "best" way out, she was under duress, and if we had a society that did not put young women at odds with their children -- especially on our nation's campuses, where they are made to feel that they have to choose between their education/careers and their children -- then it wouldn't have mattered how "safe" the facility was, that young woman would have been able to stand up proudly and say -- let's make this work.
In the end it's not about fault or safety or the reasons for a choice -- it's that you cannot convince me that there is ever any reason that a child has to die. There is always a better answer. That young woman and her child deserved better.
And I myself went to Planned Parenthood in college for birth control pills and was treated respectfully, even kindly. So we'll agree to disagree, you and I.
I personally have never used the pill, but believe that barrier methods (and of course NFP) are the way to go, since they aren't abortafacients. But make no mistake, it's not whether the people at PP are nice, they are a for-BIG-profit outfit, founded by a eugenicist, that has an agenda to keep themselves in business, making a lot of money. The DNC says that successful drug companies that are working to find treatments are "evil," why does PP get a pass?
The fact is, however, that Roe v. Wade will never be overturned, and while it's admirable that you're so staunchly against abortion, there will always be women who'll seek one, whether it's a back-alley procedure or not. Do you really think you and your pro-life sisters can change EVERYONE's mind?
And certain men will always think women are beneath them, are nothing but a punching bag, and will find a way to beat their wives to death -- I guess we should give up and not only make spousal abuse legal, but find "safe" ways for them to do it. Listen, I'm not making light of how desperate some women feel -- but let's examine why they do. Often it's because they are in fear of the consequences FROM A MAN -- her boyfriend, husband, father, professor or employer. Do we tell women being beaten to kill their abusers? Of course not, but we understand why when they do. The answer is to get out of the crisis, not resort to violence. Why not take the same approach with problematic pregnancies?
We can't change everyone's mind, but when the majority of Americans already think there is a better answer, and if pro-"choice" feminists really cared about women, they wouldn't be planning ways to continue abortions in secret, they would be working to stop the reasons why there are so many.
Or will you continue to stand in judgment?
See there you are with that word again. Saying that an act is wrong is not judging the person.
Do you have daughters? Are you 100% certain that she'd/they'd never choose abortion? And how would you ever know?
I have six daughters -- the first was a "crisis" pregnancy. All of my daughters know that there was no reason that she deserved to die. They know that I will help them through any crisis, that they are strong and can get through anything. And they know that there are friends of ours whose arms ache for a child and don't care what circumstances surround a baby -- they, and millions of couples like them, are dreaming of the chance to bring them into this world.
One of the most sinister aspects of abortion is that too many women are lured to it thinking -- if I do this, no one will ever have to know. But they know -- and potentially others will know when these poor women crack after the crisis is gone, and they fully realize what they did. Just because it's done, doesn't mean it's over.
You must surely know that the world isn't all black and white, but some of your comments indicate that you view it as such: "women either want to watch pageants...or don't out of spite," or "Obama was a lawyer...they are taught to...cover up lies..." Come on! That stereotype is an old cliche.
Well, I only have so much time, and can only write so much, so forgive the shorthand. It's meant to open dialogues, not be the be all and end all. (And have you ever dealt with any lawyers? It's not a cliche that lawyers are taught to hide/bend the truth: it's considered "doing what's in the best interest of your client." Sad but true.)
Finally, it seems to me that your posts are written from a place of anger and/or sadness sometimes.
I'd say it's from frustration that the mainstream media, Hollywood, talk shows and the abortion-on-demand crowd -- that they claim is the majority of women in this country -- think that they speak for me and all women in general. Well, they don't -- not even close to a majority -- and so I admit to getting passionate about it.
When I consider this, I feel sympathetic -- not pitying, but maybe empathetic even --toward you.
Thoughtful, but not necessary.
Maybe at one time you were hurt or betrayed or lied to, and therein lies the catalyst of your discourse.
Haven't we all been? But really, the women who know me personally and read this blog don't get the same vibe you do. Maybe it's because they know first-hand what I'm like -- maybe it just doesn't come across the right way to strangers...
At any rate, you are courageous to lay yourself bare in this way. As you say, this is only "one woman's opinion." Good luck. Without an ounce of flippancy, my sincere regards.
THANK you -- now this is what I've been aiming for with this blog. Nice to know I got it right at least once!