I'm not embarrassed to say it. I loooooooooooooved the tv show Land of the Lost. (Ok, maybe I'm a little embarrassed.)
I was 9 years old when it hit the small screen in 1974. I was a little younger than the golden-haired heroine, Holly. I wanted to experience the adventures and exhibit the bravada of the spunky Miss Marshall, in the face of a menacing T-Rex and the spooky Sleestaks.
So when I heard that this cheesy series was next in line for the Hollywood movie treatment, I was thrilled and looked forward to taking my daughters to see it. Then I heard that Will Farrell was the star, and I thought -- hmm, could go one of two ways here.
Will we have the goofy borderline fun of Elf and Kicking and Screaming, or will we get the really-not-for-kids edginess of Anchorman and Blades of Glory? When I saw a trailer last month, the MPAA rating had not been assigned yet. But what I saw led me to think what I feared.
For some reason, in a trailer that is "approved for all audiences" I saw Holly -- who apparently is considerably older in this incarnation (played by a 33-yr-old actress) -- introducing herself to the hairy caveman Cha-ka by placing her hands just below her collarbone and saying her name.
Of course, just below the collarbone is just above the bust -- so Cha-ka is then seen repeating her name and grabbing at her breasts. Hoo-boy, I thought, definitely shooting for the PG rating -- not.
I remained hopeful that perhaps after reviewing the box office receipts of Farrell's films -- as well as other adventurous PG movies -- that more family-friendly heads would prevail.
Come on -- Elf brought in $173M domestically, while the National Treasure films earned $173M and $219M. The original Night at the Museum grossed $250M, and the sequel has already earned $108M in less than 2 weeks. Pixar's Up has made $80M in just under a week. Heck, even a very similar, yet weaker movie like Journey to the Center of the Earth wound up with $101M.
But then they probably remembered that Kicking and Screaming only mustered $52M, while Blades of Glory raked in $178M. Hmmmm... this Land of the Lost is costing over $100M... hmmmm... what to do, what to do...
PG-13 it is!
So much for the nostalgia we all felt for a show aimed at pre-teens. The almighty box office gods have spoken -- and so has this mom.
My kids will not be seeing this movie. I hope you will join us -- we're going next door to see Up.
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